Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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