yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
