When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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