Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
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When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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