He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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