Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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