Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I wish you could order shots online.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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