He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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