when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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