literally had 100 drinks last night.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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