In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
