That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
