Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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