Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
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Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
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Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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