it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
