i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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