If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
