he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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