Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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