apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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