haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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