you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if only i could text you this smell
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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