i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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