I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
