so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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