yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
