I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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