Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
