dude i'm inner monologue high
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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