he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize