your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
