margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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