I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize