I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
