make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
