If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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