everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We are two peas in an std pod
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
