Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
