her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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