I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
