Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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