nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
