Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
