dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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