This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
