i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
