At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
