either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
