i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
