just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
