Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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