no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
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