You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
