STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
