he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
