i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
