Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
