Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
