I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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