woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
