Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
